Grace Fellowship

Looking for additional thoughts from Pastor Phillip? You’re in the right place!

Dealing with people reminds me of the song Mr. Rogers used to sing at the end of the kid’s educational program. Some of the lyrics went like this, “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine? Could you be mine?… I’ve always wanted to have a neighbor just like you…So, let’s make the most of this beautiful day. Since we’re together we might as well say: Would you be mine? Could you be mine? Won’t you be my neighbor? Won’t you please, won’t you please? Please won’t you be my neighbor?” I can still hear him singing this catchy familiar tune in my mind as he removes his cardigan sweater!

Many of us inwardly long for the simpler days of Mr. Rogers. It provided a few precious moments of relief for moms while the kids were entertained.

The church is challenged to discover what it means to be and invite others to be my neighbor.

Winston Churchill said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” A psychologist, on an ETV special, suggested that the quality of our lives would greatly improve if we would focus on a few important things. Rather, we dissipate much of our mental energy on multitasking. We should go for quality rather than quantity. Too often times believers, living in their own world, cry out desperately “please be a neighbor to me, I need a friend.” God teaches us that we become friends by giving of ourselves not by getting others to be a friend to us.

Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man who has friends must himself be friendly…” Many times I have listened to someone say, “I just can’t seem to make friends with people.” I once told a dear saint who blamed the church for her lack of friends, “My sister, if you want friends you must put on a ‘yes’ face. Your body language appears to be angry.” With tears in her eyes, she said, “I have been told that before.” She found it easier to leave than to confront her own insecurities with the Word of God. Ralph Waldo Emerson had it right when he said,”The only way to have a friend is to be one.”

What do our friends say about us? Someone once said, “When you know who his friend is, you know who he is.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 “Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character.” (Amplified)

The opposite is true too. When we become a strong friend to those in the world, bringing them into the church, it will have positive affect upon them. We should be examples of what true friendship looks like. Many believers would rather stay in the security of their creative avoidance than to make outsiders feel the atmosphere of loving acceptance. Aren’t you glad Jesus didn’t give up on you after the rejection of His first attempt to win your heart?

Our main source of friends should be believers who positively encourage us to reach beyond our circle of friends to expand its borders with new friends. In this environment we find safety.

Romans 15:7 “Honor God by accepting each other, as Christ has accepted you.” (CEV)

Billy Graham said, “Imitating Christ is opening the door to friendship.”

Mr. Rogers said, “Won’t you please? Please won’t you be my neighbor?”

It is not unusual for young people to end a phone text with the abbreviation “BFF” meaning Best Friends Forever. There is something warm and cozy in knowing you have a BFF.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Dale Carnegie put it like this, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”

Annie was a rather large unattractive girl. She regularly attended youth functions and Bible studies. The youth director introduced a situational learning game called, *”The Lifeboat.”

The high school kids were instructed to form their chairs to resemble the seating on a lifeboat. They were told “you twelve are the only survivors of a shipwreck.” Once on board the boat, you discover there is seating and provisions for only eleven people. Twelve will capsize the boat, leaving you all to drown. You must decide what to do.

After a moment they decided that one member must be sacrificed, but whom? Who would be left to drown? The strongest athletic boys would be needed to row the boat. Of course, the boys would not let any of the pretty girls become shark food! After going through each member they were all too smart, talented or too popular to sacrifice except Annie. Annie may not have been attractive but, she wasn’t dumb. So, she blurted out, “I’ll jump!”

The group protested “No, no Annie.” But, when pressed they could not give one good reason why she should not jump. So, they remained silent.

Time for the game ran out and when asked they could not give the youth director a conclusion. He went on and taught a lesson using the example of the lifeboat. But, Annie had already learned her lesson.

The next day, Annie jumped. Her “friends” in the youth group were baffled and deeply saddened by her suicide. Her youth group had affirmed her worst fears about herself. She was truly of no value. She had so much to live for. But, they just couldn’t think of what is was!

Who is included in your circle of friends?

It is only natural to include those we are comfortable with having compatible temperaments. The challenge of having a true BFF has become more difficult in today’s computerized, fast-paced world.

This presents a unique opportunity for the church. Jesus did not come to found a religion but that we might have a relationship with the heavenly Father. He told His disciples, I no longer call you servants, but friends (BFF)!

The very idea of a deep lasting relationship is becoming foreign to us. Divorce rates, even among believers, have soared up to 52 - 53%. My prediction is that the gap between impersonal encounters and truly lasting meaningful relationships will grow even larger. As we learn how much the Father loves us, it becomes safe to love others, even when they are not in our circle of friends. In fact, the church must make it their goal to expand their circle of friends to include people we may not naturally feel comfortable with. Jesus was a friend to sinners. This means they felt comfortable to sit and ask questions.

At Grace Fellowship, one of our goals is to produce an atmosphere of acceptance. A Biblical philosophy of “inclusion” is imperative in accomplishing this. Believers can’t afford the luxury of “exclusion” and expect to impact the world for Christ. Inclusion demands that one go beyond their comfort zone. It is accepting the challenge of seeing others as they are seen by the Father. In this fast-paced, self-seeking society, it is rare for one to look below the surface to see in a person what Christ sees! Too often we equate a person’s value with their looks, popularity, possessions or abilities. God sees each person as valuable and precious apart from their social status and performance.

Caring enough to become my brother’s keeper is risky. Remaining passive, in fear of rejection, while a brother or sister hurts is an unacceptable expression of Christ’s love. I may not be able to fix it, but I can care enough to ask questions and offer myself as a friend. Admittedly, caring enough to gravitate toward someone I may not be naturally attracted to is uncomfortable. It is not for the faint hearted and demands caring enough to be self-sacrificing and proactive.

For the disciple of Christ, the Annies of this world are valuable and precious too.

Is there room in your circle of friends to include Annie? Who can become your BFF?

*The story “The Lifeboat” was provided by Youth Specialties.

This New Year 2008 people will make all kinds of resolutions. But, what is really important to God?

When purchasing a new automobile, one should refer to the owner’s manual for proper care of the vehicle. If the oil isn’t changed, it will eventually affect the running condition of the car.In this fallen dysfunctional sin-filled world God has given us certain priorities for maintaining healthy relationships causing them to be oiled with God’s grace. Knowing these and trusting God’s grace to help us implement them is a great starting place for living a better life.

What are God’s relationship priorities?

First, is our personal and intimate relationship with Jesus.
It is more than just knowing God! However, it is living and trusting Him on a daily basis. To place anything above this personal and intimate relationship with Jesus is idolatry. To do so will create an emotional void that a spouse, pastor or any other person cannot fill. Nothing in life can be a substitute for this first most important relationship priority.

The second relationship priority is your spouse, provided one is married.
Too often, the job is either number one or two on our list, but God did not intend this. The divorce rate of the Church is equal to that of the secular world. Even children cannot come second in this relationship. God told grown children to leave their parents and cleave to their spouse. He never told the husband to leave his wife. It brings a sense of security to a home when this priority is in its rightful place.

The third relationship priority is that of the children.
In the name of caring for children, many never have time for them. Children will learn about life’s priorities from their parents. Someone once said, “Children pay more attention to what you do than what you say.” Part of the social interaction of the family should take place in the local church environment.

The fourth relationship priority is that of your local church.
The Bible says that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. If faith comes by hearing then how or when will it remain dormant? It is by neglecting or omitting the hearing of God’s Word! Picking a local church is not like choosing a Wal-Mart or K-Mart saying let’s see who has the best deal today. No, you wouldn’t send your child to an Islamic Temple to learn about Jesus because they have a wonderful children’s program! It is the parent’s responsibility to lead the home by attending the local church and place a premium upon hearing the Word of God.

The fifth relationship priority is that of the job or work place.
This comes up way too high on most people’s relationship lists. God will bless this priority as we trust Him with it. His desire is to prosper us in every area of life. We can experience a better life as we trust Him to help get these relationship priorities lined up.

Although many resist change, it is inevitable.

When my first son was born I could hold him in my arm between my hand and elbow. Somehow, I imagined he would stay that size until I was ready for him to grow. But, much sooner than I thought, he grew!

Sometimes to our detriment, the church has been very slow to make any transitions in the name of doctrinal purity or integrity. Thank God our salvation will not be determined by doctrinal purity or who would be saved? Salvation only comes through a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

One controversial buzz is over contemporary services. Many would like to put their head in the sand and hope that it might go away, but be assured, good, bad or neutral, it is here to stay. While talking with the pastor of a contemporary church, he respectfully made it very clear that they were not a “charismatic” church. They did not operate in the “gifts.”

When considering change in the church, what should the real question be? While we should never intentionally offend anyone, Jesus made it clear that at some point people would be offended with the truth if it is being taught! Should the question be: Are we cutting edge, contemporary, seeker-sensitive, evangelical, traditional, denominational, charismatic or fundamentalist?

Maybe the question should be: Are we Christ-Sensitive?

What does Jesus think the church should look like? As the church was ushered in by the Holy Spirit in Acts 2, it was fresh, new, cutting edge and radical. It offended many while reaching the lost, but how? It was done Jesus’ way through the ministry of the Holy Spirit!

Maybe the Lord prefers that change would cause people to be conformed into His unchangeable image while empowering us to reach our world.