Grace Fellowship

It is not unusual for young people to end a phone text with the abbreviation “BFF” meaning Best Friends Forever. There is something warm and cozy in knowing you have a BFF.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Dale Carnegie put it like this, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”

Annie was a rather large unattractive girl. She regularly attended youth functions and Bible studies. The youth director introduced a situational learning game called, *”The Lifeboat.”

The high school kids were instructed to form their chairs to resemble the seating on a lifeboat. They were told “you twelve are the only survivors of a shipwreck.” Once on board the boat, you discover there is seating and provisions for only eleven people. Twelve will capsize the boat, leaving you all to drown. You must decide what to do.

After a moment they decided that one member must be sacrificed, but whom? Who would be left to drown? The strongest athletic boys would be needed to row the boat. Of course, the boys would not let any of the pretty girls become shark food! After going through each member they were all too smart, talented or too popular to sacrifice except Annie. Annie may not have been attractive but, she wasn’t dumb. So, she blurted out, “I’ll jump!”

The group protested “No, no Annie.” But, when pressed they could not give one good reason why she should not jump. So, they remained silent.

Time for the game ran out and when asked they could not give the youth director a conclusion. He went on and taught a lesson using the example of the lifeboat. But, Annie had already learned her lesson.

The next day, Annie jumped. Her “friends” in the youth group were baffled and deeply saddened by her suicide. Her youth group had affirmed her worst fears about herself. She was truly of no value. She had so much to live for. But, they just couldn’t think of what is was!

Who is included in your circle of friends?

It is only natural to include those we are comfortable with having compatible temperaments. The challenge of having a true BFF has become more difficult in today’s computerized, fast-paced world.

This presents a unique opportunity for the church. Jesus did not come to found a religion but that we might have a relationship with the heavenly Father. He told His disciples, I no longer call you servants, but friends (BFF)!

The very idea of a deep lasting relationship is becoming foreign to us. Divorce rates, even among believers, have soared up to 52 - 53%. My prediction is that the gap between impersonal encounters and truly lasting meaningful relationships will grow even larger. As we learn how much the Father loves us, it becomes safe to love others, even when they are not in our circle of friends. In fact, the church must make it their goal to expand their circle of friends to include people we may not naturally feel comfortable with. Jesus was a friend to sinners. This means they felt comfortable to sit and ask questions.

At Grace Fellowship, one of our goals is to produce an atmosphere of acceptance. A Biblical philosophy of “inclusion” is imperative in accomplishing this. Believers can’t afford the luxury of “exclusion” and expect to impact the world for Christ. Inclusion demands that one go beyond their comfort zone. It is accepting the challenge of seeing others as they are seen by the Father. In this fast-paced, self-seeking society, it is rare for one to look below the surface to see in a person what Christ sees! Too often we equate a person’s value with their looks, popularity, possessions or abilities. God sees each person as valuable and precious apart from their social status and performance.

Caring enough to become my brother’s keeper is risky. Remaining passive, in fear of rejection, while a brother or sister hurts is an unacceptable expression of Christ’s love. I may not be able to fix it, but I can care enough to ask questions and offer myself as a friend. Admittedly, caring enough to gravitate toward someone I may not be naturally attracted to is uncomfortable. It is not for the faint hearted and demands caring enough to be self-sacrificing and proactive.

For the disciple of Christ, the Annies of this world are valuable and precious too.

Is there room in your circle of friends to include Annie? Who can become your BFF?

*The story “The Lifeboat” was provided by Youth Specialties.